Tuesday, March 04, 2008

British Parking Awards knees up ... Littlejohn at his best

And the Lovely Rita Award goes to ...
4th March 2008
Richard Littlejohn
Daily Mail

This week's glittering edition of You Couldn't Make It Up comes live from London's Dorchester Hotel, home of the 2008 British Parking Awards.

Initially, I assumed it was a spoof - especially when I discovered that it was to be hosted by the comedienne Meera Syal, of Goodness Gracious Me fame.
But, no. It's kosher. Even my fevered imagination couldn't come up with this one.
On Friday, 500 assorted traffic wardens, wheel-clampers and multi-storey merchants will assemble for the "the foremost event in the UK parking calendar".

The 2008 British Parking Awards:
A gathering of 500 of the most hated people in Britain
They'll be treated to a champagne reception, complete with can-can dancers, before the gongs are dished out.

Categories include Off Street Parking Team Of The Year; Joined Up Thinking: The Innovation Award; and Parking Person Of The Year.

The £99-a-head bash is sponsored by, among others, the debt collection agency Equita; NCP; and The Enforcer, described as "a quarterly magazine dedicated to the growing sector that enforces regulations, issues penalties and recovers debts".
It's appropriate that the parking industry's house journal takes its name from a Dirty Harry movie.
I wonder if the journalists who produce it - and probably went into the trade dreaming of Woodward and Bernstein - ever thought their careers would turn out like this. I'd rather sell the Big Issue outside King's Cross station.

Friday's ceremony will see 500 of the most hated people in Britain gathered together in one place for an orgy of self-congratulation over the misery they inflict upon others.
One company which wasn't on the official list of invites was Parking Appeals Ltd.
It could possibly be that our ticket got lost in the post ... along with thousands of Notice to Owners, Charge Certificates and other paperwork.
Perhaps we'll have our own Dick Turpin Highway Robbery Awards ... any nominations and categories?
Seal your suggestions in an envelope and if you cannot stick it on the car just put it in the post.

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